Hi there lovely ladies (and possibly a gent or two)...my name is Abraham Owl and I will be guest blogging for LollyChops today. She plum wore herself out from sewing all day long yesterday and called in a panic asking that I write up a post for her. I graciously accepted and decided to do a post on my favorite subject. Me.
In this post I will chronicle the story of my life. My rocky tumultuous beginnings through the dramatic turn of events that lead me to meet the woman of my dreams. I promise not to leave a single detail out. You might laugh. You might cry....regardless... you will not leave with an empty heart.
Sew let us begin shall we......
The beginning....I was born a thin piece of cloth in the tiny town of Bedford, Texas on November 25, 2008 at approximately 12:31CST (as I am writing this I am an old leathery man of 11 owl hours (that's roughly 4 dog years, 16 rabbit years and 3 hedgehog years - it's practically ancient I know)).
As a toddler I was cut into two pieces of cloth and single stitched together with my bottom and one side (for stuffing) left open.
In kindergarten I acquired a loose open stitch down both sides of my bottom (but not through either seam). The strings from this stitch were left dangling so I could be cinched a little (it sounds painful but I promise you.. I was so young I did not feel a thing).
My parents decided that I needed a round bottom so they acquired one for me in matching fabric for a very good price. My round bottom was pinned on either side to each seam... and then (this next picture is a little graphic so you might want to shelter any small children and hamsters that might be in the vicinity and get some Hot Chocolate for fortitude)....
Once that harrowing nightmare was over my bottom was attached to my owl body with several pins (felt like a hundred if you were to ask me). I looked like a merry-go-round from the house of horrors. Honestly.
In my teen years I was lead back to the torture table (aka.. sewing machine table) and my bottom was completely sewn to both of my sides (in a circular fashion.. makes sense since my bottom is round and all). I was snipped all the way around my bottom seam (not through the stitching of course). This is evidently to give me room to breath and stretch. I don't know about you.. but I do not plan on doing any breathing through my bottom parts. I mean... that's just not gentlemanly at all.
Once all that snipping and stretching was complete it was time to have a small thick round cardboard like substance (or chipboard if you have it) inserted into my side. Again.. completely painless but a tad on the violating side. I am not a turkey here folks. I don't generally take well to being stuffed.
This next part of my life is when the trauma from my youth really caught up with me (these were my college years). In a matter of minutes I went from a svelte "handsome" Owl to a round chubby "he's so cute" Owl (notice how my head flap was pinned down approximately 1 3/4 to 2 inches over before I was stuffed (only through the front piece of course.. cause the stuffing needs to go all the way up to the top of where the fold is folded)). I was in counseling for the next several hours (in an attempt to learn to deal with my new found round)...so my cousin "Spotted Owl" agreed to fill in for me using his baby pictures instead of mine. I had a hole in my side folks. It's understandable that I would not want my picture taken during these trying times.
Once I had reached "that age" my mom decided that I needed eyes. She placed them right under my head flap on either side and ran a needle and thread from one side to the other (right through my teeny tiny little brain) until my eyes were sewn on tight (she squeezed my head in order to get the needle through). Once she was done with that she then proceeded to tack down my flap using simple stitches that did not go all the way through the top piece - just the one on the inside (she's so darn crafty). Honestly.
Nextly.. moms decided that I needed some dashing wings. not that those puny little things are going to really get my anywhere.. but again... it's all about being cute (counseling is obviously over...I decided to embrace the cute factor and just roll with it (I am good at rolling with it I discovered).
Before my story can continue, my cousin decided that he liked this whole blog thing and talked me into sharing two of his family pics. One of him (a full body shot with his feet attached). He's such a show-off. I do not have feet yet.. but I hope to save up enough to get me a pair.. sooon.
...and then another of his sister SpottyPants Owl (she's as old as the hills - not kidding) and her new boyfriend (Prototype Owl The IV..honestly..that dude is such a snob.. I think it's the whole fancy schmancy name thing he has going on).
So let's get back to talking about me and how I met the love of my life!
First ... I need to explain something. There comes a time in every young Owl's life when he goes through "the change"... It's a molting of sorts.. where you change from a flowery teal colored Owl to a much more mature round circles and triangles in orange, red and green colored Owl. So I am the cute orange guy in the pics below (just roll with it.. it makes the story much more interesting...trust me).
How we met....On a bright sunny fall afternoon (fall is so my season).. I was hanging with my cousin, his sister and another friend.. when out of the corner of my eyes I spotted a lovely lady headed in our direction. I can honestly say it was love at first site... I knew we were meant to be together. Don't ask me how I knew. I just felt it in my heart.
She tentatively approached - her wings all a flutter (for the dudes out there...she had some hot wings)... I pointed in her direction and beckoned her to me.
She gently laid her head on my shoulder and it was as if we suddenly melded into each other. Seamless. Two hearts beating as one. I asked her what her name was and she whispered ever so quietly.. ....weeennnnndeeeee. Sigh. The name of an angel. I swears.
Within a few minutes we were engaged and headed to the photography studio to have our official engagement pictures taken (the announcements come out in the Sunday papers). We will of course be married by then and should have our second child on the way (you gotta move fast when you are an Owl).
Pictures of our little ones will be posted soon. Wendy and I will also be on Oprah within a few days. Lolly will post the show date and time as soon as it's confirmed.
Thanks for letting me host for Lolly today and thanks for letting me share my story.
You can download me (Abraham Owl) (in PDF format) below:
Happy Holiday tomorrow everyone!
P.S. More sewing directions are coming soon. I promise!
P.S. Pt. III You can download the pattern for Wendy The Bird (Abe's woman) HERE.